


My Sincerest Apologizes

by EmbretheWorld



Series: Thomas has a Pet Bird called Dick [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton is a Little Shit, Attempt at Humor, Dick Jokes, Established Relationship, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Im making dick jokes again, John Laurens Lives, M/M, Mysterious Person mentioned, Other, Sexual Humor, Swearing, i shall not name her till later but this story has some plot aside from sex jokes, laurens is the one who i project jokes onto, someone help me, this entire thing is just sex and dick jokes tbh, well kinda, were finally getting to the orgin story of this birds name, were like half way there okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24300226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbretheWorld/pseuds/EmbretheWorld
Summary: gremlin: i came here to apologize for insulting Dickfrancophile: I HOPE YOU BROUGHT KNEEPADS BITCH.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson & James Madison
Series: Thomas has a Pet Bird called Dick [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736527
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	My Sincerest Apologizes

**revolutionary set**

**tomcat:** _@everyone_ i got a problem

 **alive but dead inside:** uggghh what is it now alex?

were not your personal therapists

 **tomcat:** you all kinda are 

like how many times have i come to all of you because of my problems? many times 

**alive but dead inside:** true true but still you need to consult an actual therapist about your problems and not us

 **tomcat:** yeah that expensive so no and you all arent so yeah

 **alive but dead inside:** do you want me to charge you because i could make a quick buck out of this

jk jk

_BRAHBRAH is online_

**BRAHBRAH:** what did you do now alex?

 **lancelot:** ^^^

 **tomcat:** so i got rlly annoyed at Thomas's bird, Dick, cause it kept squawking at me and ruining the mood, i tried to appease it with seeds it didnt work and it hates me. so i called it ugly and annoying and now thomas is mad at me cause i insulted his bird for no reason. now i gotta apologize to him because he wont talk to me unless i apologize

 **alive but dead inside:** do u know what you are rn alex??

 **BRAHBRAH:** its clownery your honor

 **alive but dead inside:** you better go pick up your check I heard rodeo clowns make 51000 dollars a year and you'll be needing it now.

 **tomcat:** yeah yeah i get it im a fucking clown

no need to make fun of my for it

 **lancelot:** you are,, how you say?

u are not a clown,, but, the entire circus?

 **alive but dead inside:** no he's a vitamin d deficient rodeo clown

 **tomcat:** I GET IT

but how is any of this relevant to my current predicament?

 **alive but dead inside:** its relevant cause ur stupid

 **tomcat:** i get that but how do i fix this

 **BRAHBRAH:** make him a gift to apologize with

 **lancelot:** apologize

 **alive but dead inside:** fuck

 **tomcat:** YOU CANT SOLVE EVERYTHING WITH SEX

GOD. are you this horny 24/7 cuz if you are then you need to get laid

 **alive but dead inside:** in TRYING

 **tomcat:** NOT HARD ENOUGH

 **alive but dead inside:** juST LIKE YOUR _DICK IS_

 **tomcat:** AAAAAAAAA

* * *

**tomcat:** so 

now that we got that under control what do i do?

 **lancelot:** take him out to dinner

 **alive but dead inside:** Golden Fox Bar is like a really good one

you can get the best of both words

 **tomcat:** when we meet up im spraying u with holy water because u need it

 **alive but dead inside:** this is lauren abuse

 **tomcat:** i dont care you deserve it

 **BRAHBRAH:** i mean he's got a good idea excluding the second part of it

 **lancelot:** its a good bar me herc and laurens go there all the time

the drinks are of best quality

 **BRAHBRAH:** agreed

 **alive but dead inside:** yeah listen to them im right

 **tomcat:** your not wrong but your not right either

 **alive but dead inside:** but im right

 **tomcat:** that doesn't mean im not gonna get holy water to spray you with

 **alive but dead inside:** this is laurens abuse!

 **tomcat:** this isn't anytype of abuse this is you just being hornyily stupid

 **alive but dead inside:** hornyily isn't a word

 **tomcat:** my point still stands

**gremlin & francophile**

**gremlin:** i came here to apologize for insulting Dick

 **francophile:** I HOPE YOU BROUGHT KNEEPADS BITCH.

 **gremlin:** i am not sucking you off

 **francophile:** thats not what i

i didnt

no? thats not what i meant!

 **gremlin:** then what did you mean?

 **francophile:** i meant you'd need kneepads since you'd have to BEG for my forgivness

the fact that you thought otherwise?... God you are insufferable Alexander, and ive met many insufferable people but you take the cake for most insufferable person so far

 **gremlin:** it seems you haven't met yourself then.

 **francophile:** oh i have, your just more insufferable then me

 **gremlin:** well luckily for you this insufferable person is taking you out for dinner to at the Golden Fox Bar.

 **francophile:** if this is some trick to get me to your apartment so we don't have to deal with Dick interrupting anything and your not actually taking me to a bar then no

 **gremlin:** maybe

but the actual reason is cuz i wanna apologize for insulting dick and take you out for a nice dinner since we haven't had a good dinner in a long while. (and _maybe_ if you want we can makeout later)

 **francophile:** that sounds really nice (and maybe, if im in the mood we can)

when do you wanna go out?

 **gremlin:** i was thinking Saturday 8 PM maybe? can you get someone too take care of Dick 

**francophile:** maybe ill ask jemmy

 **gremlin:** k love you

 **francophile:** love you too

**Jemmy & Tommy**

**Tommy:** hey jemmy

 **Jemmy:** its 10 pm what do you want?

 **Tommy:** always straight to the point

 **Jemmy:** indeed i am. now what is it you want Tommy?

 **Tommy:** do you think you can watch my bird Dick on Saturday? im gonna be on a date Saturday

 **Jemmy:** you really named it Dick?

 **Tommy** : of course I did its what she would have wanted

 **Jemmy:** indeed she would have 

**Tommy:** but are you going to be available to take care of him Saturday?

 **Jemmy:** probably

but who exactly is the date with?

 **Tommy:** you know very well who it is jemmy

 **Jemmy:** i do but that doesn't mean im not interested. where are you going?

 **Tommy:** to the Golden Fox bar this Saturday at 8 PM

 **Jemmy:** well thats nice i heard good things about that place

if you don't mind me asking why all of a sudden? you usually tell me these things at work.

 **Tommy:** we got in a fight cuz he called Dick ugly and annoying so now he's trying to make it up

 **Jemmy:** I feel like it's kinda hypocritical of him saying that about your bird when those are the perfect words to describe him

 **Tommy:** yikes

 **Jemmy:** ill watch your bird just keep me updated on the situation

 **Tommy:** thank you so much jemmy

 **Jemmy:** no prob

**gremlin & francophile**

**francophile:** were good for Saturday 

**gremlin:** nice

 **francophile:** cant wait for saturday

 **gremlin:** neither can i

 **francophile:** also you still have to apologize to my bird

 **gremlin:** goddamnit!


End file.
